A SCREEN SHOWS MR. BUT, A REPORTER WITH CBN NEWS.
BUT
Welcome back to CBN News! We have a live facecam of Superman telling us the battle of Dragonbolt!
SUPERMAN’S FACE APPEARS ON THE SCREEN.
SUPERMAN
Okay, but before I start this, everyone knows that I am strong, so I am the world’s most powerful superhero there ever was!
MR. BUT
So you are stronger than Thanos in Avengers Infinity War?
SUPERMAN
Well, no, but stronger than Dragonbolt!
MR. BUT
Wait a minute, now we are getting a direct facecam from Dragonbolt?!
DRAGONBOLT’S FACE APPEARS ON THE SCREEN. HE ROARS.
DRAGONBOLT
Wait, now you hear me? Okay, what in the universe were you saying about beating me, Superman?!
SUPERMAN
I destroyed Zod! So that proves it!
DRAGONBOLT
No kidding, but you let him destroy a planet!
GODZILLA APPEARS ON THE SCREEN
MR. BUT
Now Godzilla?! We’re getting 1,000,000 views!
GODZILLA
Superman, I’m on Dragonbolt’s side.
SUPERMAN
Okay, so Godzilla, well… You can’t beat me!! So your opinion hardly matters!
GODZILLA APPEARS ON SUPERMAN’S SCREEN AND THROWS HIS BLUE FIRE BREATH AT SUPERMAN. BOTH OF THEIR SCREENS GO BLACK
MR. BUT
Noo! We just lost 500,000 views! Dragonbolt, give us some news now and we’ll say you destroyed Superman!
DRAGONBOLT
Fine, I’ll tell you my perspective of the battle. You’ve woken up a monster called Pumpkin.
MR. BUT TRIES TO CUT IN, BUT DRAGONBOLT MUTES HIM.
DRAGONBOLT
Pumpkin is a giant pumpkin villain. Pumpkin attacked New York City by jumping on it, so I made a hole and Pumpkin was gone. The end.
MR. BUT
But wait, I heard you destroyed North Korea!
DRAGONBOLT
No! I am innocent! You people really need to get better sources.
MR. BUT
Didn’t you cause the earthquake that destroyed North Korea?
DRAGONBOLT
Nope, that was Pumpkin when he died.
MR. BUT Oh, okay. (to the audience) Viewers, for a limited time you can get a picture of Dragonbolt for just $1,999.99!
DRAGONBOLT
That much for a picture of me?! No wonder you don’t have any views. I’m leaving this broadcast. Bye.
DRAGONBOLT’S SCREEN GOES BLACK
MR. BUT
You know what? I quit. We don’t have any good news to report.
THE SCREEN READS “THE END,” BUT UPSIDE DOWN AND BACKWARDS.
